Chemo sucks

It makes my kidneys hurt. My back hurts. My arms hurt. My legs hurt. My feet hurt. My neck hurts. My head hurts. Not even the inside of my head like the outside. My brother helped wash my hair in the sink the other day because I was pretty sick and it helped so much. My mom then rubbed my head played with my hair and brushed it.  I Hate being sick 

Cvs 5k

I had my CVS 5k this morning. JJ drove in last night. He surprised me and brought me starbucks at work it was really nice. Work wasn't going so well and my manager was mad at me so it made me feel a lot better. Friday night was really good. We talked a lot. We had a good night. 

My 5k went well. I started to get dizzy and feel sick about 10 minutes into it so we ended up doing  3.5k instead of the full 5k. It was still really nice. JJ could tell I was staring to not feel good so he asked me every so often if I was still feeling okay 

We just got back from Olive Garden. I was really hungry and ate really well. I feel good too. Normally ater eating that much I feel terrible. JJ made me feel good about it I ate about half of a dessert too. I don't remember the last time I was ful. It was a really long time ago. 

This weekend is mostly being spent on homework. I have a lot I have to get done if I want to graduate. I'm going to Six Flags on Mondy for a physics field trip and if I actually want to go I have to complete 8 worksheets and 2 tests. I have a project to finih for Marketing and a few for my health class too. It won't be too bad but its a lot of work. I'm glad none of its hard. It will just take time

Saturday

I went to a friends lake house on saturday. I got there before they got home for lunch so I played on my ipad and cuddled her new 14 week old puppy. After they got there we went on their boat and she went water skiing. It was really cool to see. I've never done it before and want to try it before the end of the summer. Then Justin got there and we went tubing. That was a ton of fun. It was cold but it was wonderful. I loved all of it. JJ said he was glad to see me happy.
Then because JJ works at 6am we went out for dinner early so we could drive home. He and his friend we're pushing me so hard to eat two more quesadilla triangle things. I couldn't do it. I think JJ's friend was mad a me. It bothered me so much I went to the bathroom and purged. I lied to JJ and then confessed to it on the drive home.

This boy is great.

He leaves skype open some nights. I wish it was more to be honest. But I love it. If I wake up he's there for me. If I need him he's always there. He said he doesn't like me talking about him online the other day. He meant on tumblr. He doesn't know I have this blog. I know I've talked about him before. I mean I've been with him for almost 8 months. I can't just keep that from you guys. I hope he doesn't find this :p

This weekend is going to be great. I had a pretty good day today. Tomorrow I'm going to one of Js friends girlfriends lake house about 45 minutes away from me. It'll be fun. J works  early in the morning at a golf course and then he has a chiropractor appointment. After that he's gonna meet me at the lake house. We'll go home Saturday night so he can sleep before work Sunday. I don't know what we'll do Sunday and Monday but I don't even care. I'm going to get Froyo with one of Js sisters friends that I've become friends with. She's really nice and my entire lifeline. I'm excited to go! 

Weird as fuck feeling right now.

JJ's been asleep for a few hours. I'm laying In bed watching tv and I had a really weird thought pop in my head. I want a baby. "But you have two" I want a real baby. One that's mine and all mine. One who I can be there for. I'm almost out of high school. This is crazy as fuck. What is wrong with me honestly. Wtf. 

"Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such." -Henry Miller

Don't ever take anything for granted. Don't take any day or any moment for granted either. I don't really have much more to say then that.